The Secret LION ARMY
by HarryBrumbyJacksonGames
Summary: Dan wakes up one night to find Phil with some strange items and weird clothing. What could of possibly happened to make Phil this way? Not a ship story, sorry, but it's more of a best friends kind of fluff. Even though it's not a ship story, please read it and review, PLEASE? :) Rated T because of a bit of swearing R


**AN: Okay, so Dan and Phil fic. Every story that I read is a ship story and even though I do ship Phan a little bit, I'm board of reading ship stories. So this is more of a best friends kind of story and I'm steering away from the shipping a bit. Sorry. But anyway, I hope you guys like it and Dan or Phil, if you are reading this (which I highly doubt because you have better things to do than read fanfics) I hope you like me writing a story about your friendship rather than you two being in love :) ENJOY. **

**Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil fanfiction: The Secret LION ARMY**

Dan awoke to a strange noise. It was a kind of shuffling noise, like there was someone in the house…apart from Phil. But Phil might be up, getting a glass of water or something, so Dan closed his eyes. He was just about to fall asleep when he heard an unfamiliar bleeping. Okay, a strange person was defiantly in the flat.

Dan sat bolt upright in bed. Wanting to investigate, he got out of bed and grabbed the spikiest guitar hero guitar and swung it, poised, above his head like a golf club. Only in his pyjamas, he ventured out of his room; looking left and right warily, the guitar still above his shoulder.

He crept slowly into the kitchen and saw a dark figure hunched over the breakfast bar. The figure had a large object in his hand; it looked like the Delia Smith bakery book that Dan had bought the other day. How dare the person take the holy booketh of thy holy Delia Smith.

"P-put the book d-down!" Dan squeaked, trying to sound confident but failing miserably. The figure turned to face him, and Dan still couldn't see his face.

"Book? I haven't got a book" said the figure. He had a voice which sounded familiar to Dan.

"Phil?" Dan switched the light on. Phil stood by the breakfast bar wearing…a suit? He had a black suit on and wore a bow tie and dark glasses and…wait. A real lion's tail poking out from the back of Phil's trousers, like it grew from the base of his spine. It was just swaying from side to side casually. He also had real lion's ears poking out from his black hair. Phil held that stupid plastic T-Rex in his hand like it was a gun. In his other hand, he held a black folder saying 'TOP SECRET' on it.

"Oh, um, hey Dan" Phil said, finally moving from his frozen position. When the light was turned on, the two men just stood there, frozen and staring at each other. Phil pressed the top of the folder like it was an iPad and it bleeped and shrunk so it could easily fit into Phil's pocket.

"What are you doing?!" Dan said in a high voice lowering the guitar and looking at Phil in bewilderment. "Why do you have a fucking LION'S TAIL?! And EARS?!" Dan looked Phil up and down.

"Um, okay, Dan, I think it's time you knew. Well I have no choice now do I?" Phil sighed, clearly not wanting to tell Dan. Dan just narrowed his eyes.

"What is it Phil?" He said slowly. Phil looked at the ceiling and then at Dan. Brown eyes met blue as their friendship was put to the test.

"For a few years now, I have been part of a group and we're too secret and you can't speak a word of what we do and who we are. Okay?" Phil said seriously, knees bent, arms and hands raised but also bent, palms facing Dan. Phil's eyes and his face showed fear and even…desperation?

"Go on" Dan murmured, eyes still narrowed and nodding slowly.

"The group is called THE LION ARMY" Phil said quickly. As he said this, Dan and Phil's explosion noise that was used at the beginning of every episode of The Super Amazing Project shook through the apartment. Both men looked around with confused faces. Phil straightened up and looked around, suddenly able to raise one eyebrow. Dan didn't notice the fact that Phil was raising just one eyebrow when he couldn't before.

"Anyway, we traverse across the universe protecting innocent races of the evil plans and deeds of the horrible fiend Shmalpacca. We smite his followers and his plans with our lion powers and T-Rex guns" Phil said proudly, putting a clenched fist onto his chest, over his heart and looking up and into the middle distance.

"Wait. THE LION ARMY? What kind of secret organisation is that?" Dan said, clearly more confused than ever.

"Don't dis THE LION ARMY!" Phil said abruptly, pointing an angry finger at Dan.

"Or what? What are y'gonna do, vaporise me?" Dan said, waving his arms about with his eyes wide.

"I may have to" said Phil seriously, raising his hand. Suddenly, a ball of yellow swirling mass the size of a football appeared in Phil's hand. He held it like it was a ball as it shined and made a strange noise. Dan stood frozen, staring at the glowing yellow orb cupped in Phil's hand with wide, shocked eyes.

"You weren't kidding" Dan muttered, unable to take his eyes off of the glowing yellow ball. "So what is that exactly that you are holding?" Dan's voice shook slightly as he spoke.

"When you join THE LION ARMY, you are bestowed with this. This is just a basic spell that I can cast with the lion powers" Phil said with a smirk on his face. Then, with a quick flourish of his hand, the glowing orb was extinguished. "Anyway, I was just looking at the brief for my new mission" Phil said in an off-hand tone, bringing out the file again. It grew into the large black ipad thing that Dan had seen earlier.

"So, will I get punished or my memory erased or something for knowing about THE LION ARMY?" Dan asked, backing away slightly.

"Probably not. THE LION ARMY are forgiving, unless you are one of Shmalpaca's lot" Phil said, looking down at the file.

"No I'm not! I'm your flat-mate and best friend do you really think that I would turn against you?" Dan shouted, walking over and standing next to Phil to look down at the mission file. Phil turned to Dan and smiled.

"Of course not. I know that you would never do such a thing." He looked back down at the file.

"Okay, good. So what do you have to do in this mission then?" Dan asked innocently.

"Well, there is this book, that has recently been produced on Earth and there is only one copy of it. Shmalpaca must not get his…paws? Hooves? I dunno, but he must not get it otherwise he will be able to rule the universe and that is a very bad thing" Phil said, sounding determined.

"Okay" Dan said, also trying to sound interested and determined but not really doing a good job. He nodded his head like he understood, frowning. "So, what book is it?" He asked.

"Well, we actually happen to own it because you bought it not so long ago" Phil explained. "The book is…The Delia Smith bakery book!" Phil said dramatically as the explosion noise shook through the apartment once again. Dan raised an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously" Phil nodded.

"I wondered why there was only one left on the shelf. And the lady at the counter gave me a petrified look when I went to buy it" Dan murmured thoughtfully, looking up and stroking his chin.

Suddenly, a deep and menacing voice came from nowhere and shouted, "PHILIP! GIVE ME THE BOOK!"

"Oh no! It's one of Shmalpaca's agents coming for the book!" Phil shouted over the now loud rumbling sound. Phil grabbed the book, shrunk it and shoved it into his pocket along with the file and slung his arm around Dan's waist. He waved his free hand in the air and the two of them shot upwards and smashed through the roof of the apartment into the air of the London night. Phil's suit jacket morphed into a long, black, shiny, cape as they picked up speed, zooming through the sky. Phil put one fist in front of him, forming the Superman position and the other arm clutched onto Dan…who was screaming.

"What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck?!"

"Dan, I need you to be quiet for now while I work out which route to the Lion Base will be the easiest and the safest. You can scream later" Phil said, looking ahead of them. Dan clamped a hand over his mouth to stop himself screaming. Dan had so many questions to ask, but his thoughts were interrupted by a bright red beam of light zipping past his face. It made the sound of a lightsaber like in Star Wars and it looked like a laser beam. However, they were firing past the two men like they were laser beam bullets or something. Dan squealed in a girlish way through his hand; swear words spewing from his mouth into his palm.

"Aww damn." Phil looked behind him. "They came in one of their smaller warships and now they're trying to shoot us down!" Phil shouted to Dan over the noise. Dan removed his hand to shout back.

"I can see that!" Before slapping his hand back over his mouth. With his free hand, Phil summoned a yellow orb again and threw it at the warship. It hit and exploded like someone had just fired a paintball at it.

"Great. Dan, I want you to turn and fire this at the warship. Just pull the curve in the tail like the trigger of a gun" Phil shouted, getting out the plastic T-Rex from out of nowhere and giving it to Dan. Dan looked at it bemused before eventually turning awkwardly around and firing. His shooting was messy and did little help, but it still helped. While Dan did this, Phil spoke into an earpiece.

"Hello come in Lion Base. This is Agent Mane and we are in big trouble here! We have the book and are flying towards you but we are struggling. Any help at all would be useful." Phil carried on flying, black hair whipping in the wind.

Dan felt like an action film hero. He had an awesome gun (the T-Rex fired a strong shot) and was flying through the air shooting an alien warship with his hair flapping in the win like a hero. 'Cos that's what every 21 year old does on a Thursday night. Phil however was in full agent seriousness mode. He flew with a determined face, knowing the way to the Lion Base and occasionally would throw one of the yellow light orbs behind at the warship.

Things seemed to be going well. Phil had called for backup and now they had three more agents with lion tails and lion ears flying along beside them, throwing orange, red and yellow glowing orbs at the warship. Dan still had the T-Rex in his hands and was still shooting at the ship. Even one of the agents was impressed. She was a pretty girl, looked about Dan's age with platinum blonde hair.

"You use that well. This your first time?" The girl said sweetly, after flying over to Phil and Dan.

"Lucy, stop flirting. Save that until we get to the base" said Phil, trying not to laugh at Dan's love stuck face.

Then suddenly, without warning, one of the ship's laser beams hit its target. Dan clutched his side in pain, his eyes tight shut.

"Dan!" Phil shouted. In anger, Phil summoned a yellow orb in his spare hand, made it grow larger, making it more powerful. Then he lobbed it with as much power as he could get at the ship. Luckily, the shot hit its mark. The whole ship shuddered and began to slow down as it got hit by the powerful orb. The ship whined as it finally gave way to the power of the orbs and the T-Rex shots. It started to decline and went down in flames. The last thing that Dan heard was the wind whistling in his ears, and Phil shouting his name in desperation.

Dan blacked out.

"Dan? Dan can you hear me?" Phil's scared voice was the first thing that Dan heard as he regained consciousness. His vision slowly cleared and Phil's worried face came steadily into focus.

"Phil? What happened?" Dan said groggily. He tried to sit up but winced as pain shot through the right side of his body.

"Don't try to move too much. You were badly shot by one of Shmalpaca's warships. We have the book safe and sound" Phil said, grinning.

"So where are we now?" Dan asked, lying on his back in a hospital bed, trying not to move that much.

"We are at the Lion Base. Now we and the book are safe, and that's all that really matters" Phil said, leaning back in the chair that he was sitting in, relieved. "I thought that you were dead for sure. You were out for about two days" Phil said, his face falling slightly.

"Two days?!" Dan squealed, eyebrows raised and eyes wide. "Well, who knew that an evil alpaca could do so much damage" Dan chuckled and Phil smiled, glad to have his friend back to his normal self.


End file.
